Helping Other DRUG ENDANGERED KIDS!

Governor Sam Brownback of Kansas has signed a proclomation making APRIL 26, 2011 DRUG ENDANGERED CHILDREN AWARENESS DAY!

WE have worked closely for years with THE KANSAS ALLIANCE FOR DRUG ENDANGERED CHILDREN and THE KANSAS METH PREVENTION PROJECT.

A couple of weeks ago we went before our county commissioners who have also declared the entire mothe of April as DEC Awareness Month emphasizing April 26 as DEC Awareness Day. A story about our family is included in all the media information being sent out to our state.

I called our local Child Social Services Agency and asked what we could do to help Drug Endangered Children.

She said that they are ALWAYS in need of diapers so we are doing a diaper drive. In addition to that, she said that many kids who come into custody are afraid and lonely so she thought tied fleece blankets would also be a good idea for them to have something to "attach" to.

Our family is collecting diapers as well as childrens themed tied fleece blankets. The kids have had a ball making the blankets.

I think this mission is SO IMPORTANT.

OUR KIDS WERE THESE KIDS

who got taken away from their parents.. They may have benefited from diapers or one of these blankets.. It makes my heart sad.. But HAPPY that God has given us the PASSION to help others out!

Please pray for us as we will be speaking for 3-4 minutes in a Press Conference held on the Capitol steps on April 26th! Pray that God will give us the right words to say. Words that may help someone... Words that may influence someone to adopt or stop using drugs..

Should we go to PRISON???

I know when I see this stamped on an envelope..

One of our kids birth moms is back in prison...

It's sad, truly sad..

This was the letter written and request made to The Captain and I....

I have had SO MANY EMOTIONS going through my head..
It is VERY difficult to know what is best for these two...

They have not seen her in over 4 years since Bit But's birth...

Will it be detrimental for them TO see her?
Will it be detrimental for them NOT to see her?

WWJD?

I know as an adopted child myself, I wanted more than anything to see what my birth mother looked like...

We have taken Bean, T, and WyWy to the same prison to visit their mother. It really is not that scary. Its like a big cafeteria with tables, vending machines and games.

One of my fears is that if we don't take them to see her now, while she is locked up, they may never see her alive again and then I may never forgive myself. I know the reality is she will probably get out and go right back to using meth and once again disappear into the abyss.

We know that OUR GOD will not steer us in the wrong direction and we must turn to him for the right answer, its a tough one...

Why...We do what we do...

Please keep The Captain and I in your thoughts and prayers as we go before the Kansas House of Representatives tomorrow to testify on House Bill 2333. We will be taking 3 kids with us. Pray that the members of the house will listen and be open to this bill making using illegal substances during pregnancy a crime-putting pregnant moms in MANDATORY REHAB until the birth of their baby.

The video above depicts what some of our children went through at birth. Take a minute to watch.

"He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the JUSTICE OF YOUR CAUSE like the noonday sun." Psalm 37:6

Testifying for KIDS!

I just wanted to share with you all that Nick and I will be testifying in front of the Kansas House of Representatives on March 11th at 1:30pm to TRY and get Kansas House Bill 2333 passed. This bill puts pregnant women using illegal substances in mandatory rehab. Join us in praying that it will pass this year.

This law would have REALLY helped out our 6 children from the abuse they suffered in the womb-we will fight until this law gets passed, no matter how long it takes. These little faces are the reason we WILL NOT REST..

To see where your state stands on this issue CLICK HERE. And remember.....One person CAN make a difference in the life of a child.

My dream is to make a Public Service Announcement (starring my kids) to advocate for adoption of drug endangered children and foster children.

Maybe some day!

4...ALREADY?

Scared out of my mind....That's what I was 4 years ago when I got the call about MyMy-our first foster baby. Born into some "very rough" even "deplorable" circumstances-AND exposed to methamphetamines and marijuana in the womb. Could I handle a "drug baby?" "What if she had to go home-back to her birth family?" God knew...

The Captain was out of town and I couldn't get ahold of him so I told the social worker "YES, we will take her." I WAS A NERVOUS WRECK!

I had just a few hours to gather ALL things needed for a newborn. Several friends rose to the occasion and helped us out instantly.

We had spaghetti that night..We (The oldest, bean, T and I) were eating when the car drove up. It was the social workers first delivery of a foster child since starting her first job out of college.

This is how she came to us..In the below photo are ALL the worldly possessions she had. A pink blanket and hat, a diaper and a t-shirt.
I asked the social worker "Are you going to stay with me?" She said "No, I have to go home and get supper for my husband." ARE YOU SERIOUS? You just drop her off and expect me to know what to do with a newborn? I haven't had one in 15 years.

She was loved instantly by all of us...ESPECIALLY the oldest..
Daddy got home later that night and I don't think he put her down for days!! The joy this girl has brought into our lives has been phenomenal!Her adoption was finalized just short of her first birthday!She has become a little violinist-something she most likely would not have done if God would not have saved her life that day 4 years ago.Happy 4th Birthday our princess-little MY MY who has become a beautiful young girl right before our eyes.
Most people say "Oh, you have saved those kids." NO...Thank you MY MY for helping "SAVE US!" And for the MANY blessings your life has brought us.

"The Lord will keep you from all harm-he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and your going now and forevermore." Psalms 121:7-8

Don't forget to enter my GIVEAWAY by 11pm Friday!

IN THE HOUSE!-Me and The Captain.

We got a call from our state representative last week. Last year in February The Captain and I helped initiate, present & testify for House bill 2602 in front of The Kansas House of Representatives.

This bill makes using controlled substances during pregnancy a crime. 15 other states have passed similar bills into law. To find out if your state has this law click here. We will most likely be testifying again sometime in February.

Many bills take SEVERAL times to get from the house to the senate. The main reason this bill did not pass is because the way the bill was written-it gave women a FELONY and put them in jail immediately until the birth of the baby. The reason it was written this way is because it was just copied from another state. The bill is now being revised to make it mandatory REHAB instead of the jail time. Which I think will help it to be passed. Either way, with cut backs and the economy, this will cost our state money-another reason it may not pass. BUT so will raising special needs kids affected by drug abuse in the womb.

PLEASE join us in praying that this bill will pass the house and be moved on to the senate this session and that we are IN THE HOUSE-God gives us the words to speak.

GOD HAS GIVEN ME A CALLING AND I WILL NOT REST UNTIL I KNOW THE UNBORN ARE PROTECTED FROM THE ABUSE THESE 6 SUFFERED IN THE WOMB!

PLEASE TAKE A FEW MINUTES TO WATCH OUR FAMILY VIDEO-so you can put REAL faces with our children who were abused in the womb!

Goodbye BABY!

BELOW is a picture of "the TRIBE" I had at home in September 2006 when I got THE CALL

16 year old

7 year old

5 year old

2 almost 1 year old

1 almost 2 years old

We were also in the middle of transforming our 1000 square foot home from THISTO THIS-doing ALL the interior work ourselves.
SO I WAS IN NO WAY PREPARED FOR THIS
(yes this is really his birth mama)
But God had other plans and on January 19, 2007 our baby boy joined our already swollen family.

A FULL SIBLING TO MY MY
His gestation and even the day of his birth were filled with methamphetamines, cigarettes, alcohol and marijuana. BUT GOD AGAIN PREVAILED! Protecting our BOY in the womb!
MY MY is so proud of her baby brother-they TRULY have a special bond.
I didn't think I could handle another child with The Captains schedule and all that we had going on-but GOD KNEW!
He is LOVED!BIG SISTER...A BOND THAT CANNOT BE BROKENGOODBYE BABY!HELLO LITTLE BOY!HAPPY 2nd Birthday SON!WE TIP OUR HATS TO YOU TODAY!
You are a true and precious GIFT to our family!

TO READ more click HERE!

FIGHTER From The GET GO!!

This day 3 years ago brings back a mixture of emotions, as I try to think back to how it all "went down" my stomach starts to churn and ache. I remember feelings of excitement, anger, love & tears shed both in happiness and sadness.

We had 4 children at the time and we were expecting Wyatt in just a few weeks. Nick, Tori, Brendan, Myah & I were in Topeka visiting B, T, & W birth mother in prison and shopping for some fall clothes.

I remember EXACTLY where we were when we got "THE CALL". It was a social worker asking if we would be willing to take a baby girl just born and with a high content of METH in her system. We were surprised to say the least, I will NEVER FORGET getting nervous, turning to Nick and asking him-HE DID NOT HESITATE! He said "well, I guess we need to stop by the house and pick up another car seat." So, we did & headed for the hospital.

We were told that this was a very confidential situation and that we should enter through a back door of the hospital and meet in a certain room. There she was as adorable & perfect as ever-I fumed inside thinking of the abuse she had suffered. An angel TRULY protected by God in the womb. I was sickened when they described the rough delivery our Caty had to suffer through. We signed all the necessary paperwork, snuggled her in her seat and headed out to introduce this doll to the other kids. 5 kids in less than a year?? LORD CAN I DO THIS?? Just as I was thinking these words and I could feel the tears welling.... a sweet social worker-Pat, who has seen us through a lot and was helping us load her up pointed to the sky and said "with HIM all things are possible." I remember tears just streaming. She gave me JUST what I needed! Why am I second guessing the Lord's plan for our family?

It was love at first sight for all of us! She was a doll baby! Myah was 8 months at the time and both she and Tori thought Caty was "their baby".

She did fine for a few hours but then things quickly began to change with her and I got VERY NERVOUS. I was told of all the signs of Caty "coming down" off the METH and she was starting to demonstrate these. She was not sucking, very lethargic and it was very difficult to arouse her. This condition is known as "failure to thrive."

As I was on my way to the ER with her-the anger came back..."HOW COULD ANY MOTHER ABUSE A CHILD AS PERFECT AND BEAUTIFUL AS HER??? How could she put POISON into this baby? How could she have 7 kids at age 26 and NOT TAKE CARE OF ANY OF THEM? Doesn't she have the SENSE not to keep getting pregnant?" And then I praised God that she had all her fingers, toes and was a beautiful girl, I prayed that the effects from the meth would not damage this baby forever. I then began to feel compassion for her mom, if she was like the other 2 birth mothers, she probably was abused, never felt loved, never had any guidance and definitely never knew God's unconditional love.

It was a rough couple days in the hospital for my girl and I, it was very difficult to watch as a mother what she had to go through during this time. She's had several admissions to the hospital since then as she suffers from chronic lung issues. She's a little fighter!

I met with her mother & social workers the next day at the hospital it was a pitiful sight. She was completely out of it mentally and had no front teeth at all-typical of meth users. She knew she would be discharged without Caty and didn't seem to care. SAD for my girl.

Caty still suffers today from her drug exposure in the womb. She has been diagnosed with Sensory Integration Disorder and has had speech therapy since birth & receives O.T. now. She will go through a full autistic spectrum evaluation next week. What is SID? AKA Sensory Processing Disorder. Caty is ultra sensitive to light, touch, sound, taste & smell. She hears, smells and feels things 3 times more intesely than we do & has a fear of new people and situations. She has NO PROBLEM telling you if you or your breath "stinks." LOL

Despite all Caty and the rest of our family have been through in her 3 short years, She is a MIRACLE! A true gift from God!

So.... Without further adue.........Please join us in celebrating our angel and thanking God for-Cathryn Izabel's 3rd birthday! We started out this morning with hot chocolate...Her special birthday treat!

Here she is holding up her 3 fingers showing EVERYONE she is now 3! She got to open 1 gift today..She has wanted a soft pink sweatsuit like the one I LIVE IN ! She LOVES the soft texture of mine and always "rubs me" whenever I wear it! We will finish her celebration with a surprise trip this weekend when daddy gets home!

As I ponder our journey, I am thankful. I am also passionate. Passionate about making sure that IF IT TAKES ME UNTIL THE DAY I DIE, no more children will suffer at the hands of drug using mothers. What is my goal? To put laws in place to rehabilitate drug using mothers both physically and spiritually and to make this abuse a crime. It is truly TOO LATE to help my babies but not to help the thousands, maybe millions out there suffering as I type this post.

God has given us all a job and command...

"LEARN TO DO RIGHT! SEEK JUSTICE, ENCOURAGE THE OPPRESSED-DEFEND THE CAUSE OF THE ORPHAN!" Isaiah 1:17

PS-for those of you who know Caty well, she changes clothes about 10+ times a day she has already stripped from her new her birthday suit into the one God gave her LOL

UP LATE LAST NIGHT..Not a DREAM?

I remember right where I was when I received the phone call... I was sitting on my bed playing with my two youngest babies in my 1000 square foot house. It was September 15, 2006. It was a phone call I almost expected but DEFINITELY did not feel ready for. I didn't recognize the number but I recognized the anxiety in her voice right away, it was Myahs birth mother "L". She skated around the subject a couple minutes-she's not much of a talker. I too became anxious because "I KNEW!" I knew she was pregnant again and I wasn't ready yet!!! I immediately told her "I know why you are calling." .....SILENCE..... "You do?" "You are pregnant aren't you?" I said "How did you know?" she said "I just did." I said. Her next words are ingrained in my brain..."So, are you ready for #7?" she said. I was speechless. I mean come on, I had a 16 year old "challenging" teen, a 5 & 7 yr old AND a 2 yr old and 2 that weren't even walking yet. I had just started sleeping through the night for heaven's sakes! God, "are you serious?"

Nick and I went through a very rough time when Caty and Wyatt were newborns and Myah was 8 months old, I TRULY do not remember the first 4 months of their lives, it is all a blur. We basically had 3 big kids an 8 month old and twins-it was the most exhausting, frustrating, lonely and rewarding time of our lives. We were extremely sleep deprived and Nick being gone 7 full days at a time, I would just literally COLLAPSE when he got home. He would sleep on the couch with 2 bassinets next to him and let me sleep in the bed the first night so I could just catch up on my sleep then the next 5 nights he was at home we would alternate-one would sleep in the bedroom with 2 babies, the other on the couch with one that way we both wouldn't have to get up each time the babes woke, just when our "assigned" babe woke. We were no "JON & KATE +8" with people doing our laundry, cooking, helping feed babies etc. WE RAN OUR OWN SHOW-We never had any help! I tried to find people to help but never was successful-even tried to hire someone to "just feed a baby" so I could shower or do housework, never happened. This time not only bonded us closer together but bonded us closer with our heavenly father.

This was ALL running through my mind after I spoke to "L". "How can I emotionally, physically, mentally handle ANOTHER BABY?" Like I said before I did eventually expect this but definitely did not feel ready.

We took her to her OB appointment the next week (get out your kleenex Beth, it gets rough). First off, we picked her up at what looked like an abandoned house. 2nd off-she was definitely either super high on meth or hadn't had it in a bit and was "trippin." She got in the truck and had a very foul odor. (very common in meth users) It was difficult to breathe and also to see her so thin. She could not sit still, fidgeting constantly and shaking.

We asked her where she wanted to eat, she chose pizza so we headed to the pizza place. She was wobbly and shaky. We all got our food. It was sad and VERY difficult to eat with her #1 because of the smell, #2 because she could not even get the fork to her mouth-her body was just shaking and jerking uncontrollably. This was very difficult to watch knowing my precious baby was inside this body. If she was shaking, trembling and couldn't sit still, what was my baby feeling and going through in there? I just kept praying for God to wrap his arms of protection around my little baby in there.

We got to the clinic. She was so paranoid, she could not stay in the waiting room (for those of you who don't know, long time meth users eventually become paranoid schizophrenics) Nick offered to wait inside while I calmed her down outside while she smoked a cigarette. She carries knives on her constantly as she is in fear of EVERYONE! We chatted and eventually he motioned through the window that they called her name. Nick stayed in the waiting room and she asked me to come in the room with her. It was a sad scene as they asked her about her history. First she talked about the other 5 babies she had and had either lost custody of or given up for adoption. I heard her tell of physical and sexual abuse as long as she can remember-hatred , neglect and substance abuse from her parents. I cried with her as she talked about being hurt as a little girl. It broke my heart. It was at this point that I realized the majority of her life she had never been shown or felt loved.

Next it was time to draw her blood for "routine labwork" NOTHING, I MEAN NOTHING prepared me for this. She told me she had a fear of needles (she smokes/snorts meth-no shooting up) but oh Lord, it was so sad to see her on that table rocking back and forth crying and saying "no, no, no" just like a little child was almost unbearable for me. I stayed with her in that little room for over an hour while she had a major panic attack. They never did get the blood. The needle went in twice and she was just moving too much. It was at this point after much screaming that they asked us if we could take her to a mental health facility down the road-they thought and could see as we could that she was in a serious state of panic, depression, anxiety and just emotionally distraught. We were thinking "we are not her parents" "we aren't responsible for her" "we have 5 kids at home with a babysitter and we're an hour from home".... but we took her. Once they saw her walk through that door, there was no waiting-they took her in on an emergency basis right to a therapist-I went in with her, filled out all her paperwork and wanted theyto admit her to the psych ward immediately. She refused and walked out.

We were not BLOOD relatives so therefore there was nothing else we could do. Nick talked to her in a very calming way and we dropped her at her friends house.

The reason for this post is that I wanted to share with you the grips that the drug I call "THE DEVIL DRUG" METH has on people, they love it more than themselves or their chilren, that is all they can think about. They don't want to be that way, they are addicts, they can't help it.

Also, I had a dream about this last night-more like a nightmare-the night mare that baby Jett lived in her body all that time and we had NO CONTROL over our own son! Just remembering her and worrying about her and checking on her for 4 months knowing our little boy was inside that drug filled body was very difficult for us to bear. I just had to get it out. God has been so gracious in protecting our babies from physical defects, the long term mental side, we won't know for a while.

As I got up this morning to read my Bible and write in my prayer journal, I looked back to the day I found out "L" was expecting and this is what I wrote........

9/15/06

"L"-pregnant-Lord ease my mind & confusion-give me peace! Thank you for our home & the loan so we can add on-what a blessing-you saw ourneeds & met them-Praise You!
Quiet my soul Lord, give me peace. Protect that baby. I pray for answers & calmness. I want to obey you-Lead me LORD!

Psalms 139:23
"Search me, oh God, & know my heart;test me & know my anxious thoughts"

Psalms 139:10
"even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast."

Tears stream down my face as I write this post. I was waiting for God to give me a sign that we were suppose to take baby Jett and I think I found it this morning when he showed me my prayer journal from 9/15/06. What do you think?