Monday, March 9, 2009


I have been deep in THE WORD lately...searching...feeling that God was definitely leading me a certain way...feeling pure JOY!

Then today came.......Like a brick wall-that plan has suddenly been changed. I dont know why...a new plan has been revealed.

I trust lead me and our family.
I had a bad night last night. God was there. My actions and words did NOT glorify HIM. I didn't even recognize myself. None of you would have been proud to be my friend....bloggy or otherwise. Mama Bear...protecting one of her cubs... I never thought I was "SPRINGER" material until last night...



I know HE has forgiven me..Why is it SO HARD for me to forgive myself?

Now, excuse me as I go have a good cry in The Captains safe arms...


trina said...

I'm so sorry you had a stinky day. Why can we not forgive ourselves? The "E" word...the Enemy. He doesn't want our relationship with the Lord to be restored. If there is someone you need to say sorry, go take care of that...then keep reading. Trust Him. I'll pray you find peace. Hugs.

Elle said...

Mama bear, if you were protecting your cubs then I give you full go-ahead. Protect away.
And ask God to wash away the rest.

Stacey97 said...

Hope all is ok now. hang in there

Hope said...

Aren't we always the hardest on ourselves? You are so right about God's forgiveness, it is perfect and complete.

Praying for you!

Andrea said...

Some times it's hard to remember but when we don't forgive ourselves it's as if we are telling God that we don't believe in His forgiveness. We all have hard days, and I know I have had more of my share of days when I have wanted to just crawl into a hole of shame. But He is Good, He loves us, He knows we sometimes fail. Believe in His Grace and Mercy, and walk upright with your head held high. He loves you!

Joyful Mom said...

Oh friend--if we were all as brutally honest as you are, I know we would ALL confess to having those TIMES! You are so not alone.

Remember this--amazing things are stirring in your hearts right now--things the enemy hates! Be sure to put on the FULL armor of God this day. The enemy will get at you in any way he can.

Move on from what happened, sweet friend--I know the Father already has :)

Cheryl said...

I'm sorry you had such a "down"'s a poem to help you feel better:

It's easy to be pleasant when life flows by like a song.
But the man worth while is the one who can smile
When everything goes dead wrong.
For the test of the heart is trouble and it always comes with years.
And the smile that is worth the praises of earth
Is the smile that shines through the tears.

RaizenBoyz said...

I really think forgiving ourselves is the hardest. Maybe it's pride, we don't like to see ourself as being capeable of such things. We become angry at ourselves, and with anger there, you can't forgive. This is true when dealing with others and ourselves. Don't be angry with yourself, forgive yourself. As if you were your own friend. I am the same way. I understand.

Mandi said...

I love that you are so transparent and genuine! I'd be willing to say with ABSOLUTE certainty that we have all been in your shoes before...we're all imperfect people with a Savior who wants to lift us up out of our sin!!! Remind yourself that even on what seems to be your worst day (in your eyes)...God couldn't love you any more or less!

Love ya, girl!

Jen said...

I hope all is well again soon.

Transformed said...

Asking the Father to restore your joy. He is so patient and compassionate. Hugs from Uganda.

P.S. Remeber that the enemy is the accuser of the brethren--and that as soon as we repent we are forgiven as far as the east is from the west.

Kelly said...

May God reveal His direction, grant you His courage and blanket you with His peace.

Blessed Mom of 8 said...

Oh Jen, I don't know a Mom alive who has not been in your shoes more than a few times!

We are human - we all fall short of the glory of God!

His love is what carries us and His love covers a multitude of sins! Our loving Him is what brings life back to where we brought death. We come alive once again as we repent and cry in our Father's arms and instantly He forgives us. Allow the truths of His love for you to wash away the hard day and cling to His love for you! I'm so happy Capt. is home to hold you and love you here on earth being the hands of Jesus!

Many hugs dear friend!

THE Stephanie said...

Oh sweet Jen. Whatever it was, we've all been there. I'll be praying for you and I hope everything goes well today. I can't wait to hear!!

quilt'n mama said...

HUGS! & Prayers! Hope your cry was wonderful... this mama needs those too!