Thursday, November 10, 2011

The VIEW-Birth Siblings and visits..

MY VIEW that is :)

As an adopted child, I was SO BLESSED at the age of 25 to learn that I had 4 birth siblings. I was the oldest-the one given up for adoption.. God's plan for me.  My bio mother then went on to marry my father and my sister was born just over a year after me followed by my brother a year after her.  They divorced and she remarried her current husband and they had 2 more girls together.

So lets get this straight..I have 2 FULL bio siblings and 2 1/2 sisters.  I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH and over the last 16 years, we have grown extremely close.

I had NO sisters growing up. I had 2 great older brothers (both adopted also at separate times.)

This whole "NEW FAMILY" has posed a whole new set of circumstances. More people to love really... :) It took me a while to adjust but I don't know what I would ever do without my sisters now. We are so close.

This summer, my sister got married and FOR THE FIRST TIME, 2 of my sisters and I got to be ALONE, to TALK, HANG OUT and BOND in as we met in Chicago for her bridal shower. It was such AN AWESOME WEEKEND!

Me, My 3 GORGEOUS sisters and my Birth Mom. 

My brother and I...

There are times however, that I feel "CHEATED". CHEATED OUT OF KNOWING MY BROTHER AND SISTER.. MISSING OUT on all the time we lost together growing up separately.

But I must go back to this verse...You know the one..

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11


"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations." Jeremiah 1:5

I KNOW this is God's plan for my life and there is nothing I can do to change it. I WOULD NOT TRADE my upbringing for ANYTHING but at the same time I have cried many tears at the loss of SO MUCH time with my brother and sisters. It's a very strange place to be but there is no sense or use dwelling on it for I trust that GOD knows what is best for me and my entire family..

It is MY UPBRINGING and NOT knowing my birth siblings growing up that makes me want to keep my kiddos in contact with theirs IF at all possible. I know many of you do not have this opportunity of openness with your internationally adopted kiddos or even kids born here. I understand it may not be safe to be in contact with some birth families. For us it works out great. This is God's plan for our family, not everyones. We see birth siblings and families whenever possible.

We had 2 very special visitors over the last couple of weeks.

I just KNEW we had to get MyMy & Bits sister here after THIS POST.

She visited for the day one day...

These 2 were "physically touching" the entire time.
The Love and connection is magical!

Then she came to stay over night!

They fell asleep INTERTWINED..

AND THIS WEEK..Bean, T and WyWy's sister came for a visit!
A great time was had by ALL!

We are very blessed to have all of this "extended family!"

And we believe that EVEN THOUGH the 6 kiddos above have 2 moms in prison, its OUR JOB to keep them seeing one another. It's not any of their fault. They were born and are all precious in HIS SIGHT!

Have YOU been thinking about birth family visits?
They are TRULY a beautiful thing! 


Kelly said...

Man... love this post! We love our daughters birthfamily and I pray that Lovebug will be able to form relationships with any future bio siblings she may have. Thanks for sharing your unique perspective both as an adult adoptee and as a mom through adoption!

The Anglin Family said...

Wow...this post was awesome!! I'm hormonal but by the time i got to the pics of the kids, I had tears in my eyes...
I too, grew up without my sister and one of my brothers and I feel cheated sometimes, especially when I think about the sisterly bond...

Bumber's Bumblings said...

I loved loved loved this post! You have such an awesome positive adoption experience and it's so amazing, as an adoptive momma, to see you so happy and content with your siblings! Thank you for sharing! Looking forward to following your blog!

Farm Chick (at Heart) said...

Beautiful post!

anya* said...

It is very special you have had this experience and that you can foster the relationships for your childrens bio-family as well. I often wonder about this. My three children from adoption have different birth fathers and I wonder how many siblings of theirs are out there in the world, sharing their smile, their laugh, their eyes. They also have 2 1/2 siblings I do know 'of' but have no clue on names, location, ect. I wonder if it is a very different thing when the parents rights were terminated as opposed to relinquished? Thoughts?

Ana-Lou said...

I am speechless! Praise the LORD, for he is GOOD ALL THE TIME!!!

Mama in Uganda said...

How very special.

We brought home birth siblings 2 plus years apart. One grew up in an orphanage, the other in the deep bush. And yet, they know one another. They have a connection!

Thanks for sharing.

Blessings and joy,

Kristine said...

I've been kicking around a post in my head to put on my blog on this very subject, but have been procrastinating - thank you for inspiring me to get started! I confess to you the pang of jealously I feel (I'll repent when I'm done here!) as I look at your pics with your siblings and birth mom. I know nothing of my bio family. Zilch. Nada. It is a very lonely feeling at times, but like you, I trust God's sovereign and perfect will for my life which has included a totally closed adoption. His grace is sufficient!

We've adopted 10 more precious little souls and go for our second transfer this coming Wednesday - please pray for us!


Jen: Proud Mom of 7 Adopted Miracle Blessings said...

Wonderful post- I plan to link our blog to it when I have a moment... Love you!!!

Renata said...

Hi Jen
You are doing an amazing job & God knew you needed those experiences to be able to do what you are doing now. Such a beautiful post

Carpenter's said...

LOVE this post!! I just smiled the whole time looking at those cute pics!

quilt'n-mama said...

I love this post. It breaks my heart to know that one of our children from China has a sister mentioned in paperwork that we will more than likely never know:( I am sad for her but continue to pray that God will someday some how answer some questions... but if He doesn't that He will comfort her heart.

StarfishMom said...

I can't help but believe that God had this planned from the very beginning. Being adopted gives you the empathy needed for your children. Your heart is completely understanding of their situation because you've been there. HE IS FAITHFUL!!!