Wednesday, October 15, 2008


This day 3 years ago brings back a mixture of emotions, as I try to think back to how it all "went down" my stomach starts to churn and ache. I remember feelings of excitement, anger, love & tears shed both in happiness and sadness.

We had 4 children at the time and we were expecting Wyatt in just a few weeks. Nick, Tori, Brendan, Myah & I were in Topeka visiting B, T, & W birth mother in prison and shopping for some fall clothes.

I remember EXACTLY where we were when we got "THE CALL". It was a social worker asking if we would be willing to take a baby girl just born and with a high content of METH in her system. We were surprised to say the least, I will NEVER FORGET getting nervous, turning to Nick and asking him-HE DID NOT HESITATE! He said "well, I guess we need to stop by the house and pick up another car seat." So, we did & headed for the hospital.

We were told that this was a very confidential situation and that we should enter through a back door of the hospital and meet in a certain room. There she was as adorable & perfect as ever-I fumed inside thinking of the abuse she had suffered. An angel TRULY protected by God in the womb. I was sickened when they described the rough delivery our Caty had to suffer through. We signed all the necessary paperwork, snuggled her in her seat and headed out to introduce this doll to the other kids. 5 kids in less than a year?? LORD CAN I DO THIS?? Just as I was thinking these words and I could feel the tears welling.... a sweet social worker-Pat, who has seen us through a lot and was helping us load her up pointed to the sky and said "with HIM all things are possible." I remember tears just streaming. She gave me JUST what I needed! Why am I second guessing the Lord's plan for our family?

It was love at first sight for all of us! She was a doll baby! Myah was 8 months at the time and both she and Tori thought Caty was "their baby".

She did fine for a few hours but then things quickly began to change with her and I got VERY NERVOUS. I was told of all the signs of Caty "coming down" off the METH and she was starting to demonstrate these. She was not sucking, very lethargic and it was very difficult to arouse her. This condition is known as "failure to thrive."

As I was on my way to the ER with her-the anger came back..."HOW COULD ANY MOTHER ABUSE A CHILD AS PERFECT AND BEAUTIFUL AS HER??? How could she put POISON into this baby? How could she have 7 kids at age 26 and NOT TAKE CARE OF ANY OF THEM? Doesn't she have the SENSE not to keep getting pregnant?" And then I praised God that she had all her fingers, toes and was a beautiful girl, I prayed that the effects from the meth would not damage this baby forever. I then began to feel compassion for her mom, if she was like the other 2 birth mothers, she probably was abused, never felt loved, never had any guidance and definitely never knew God's unconditional love.

It was a rough couple days in the hospital for my girl and I, it was very difficult to watch as a mother what she had to go through during this time. She's had several admissions to the hospital since then as she suffers from chronic lung issues. She's a little fighter!

I met with her mother & social workers the next day at the hospital it was a pitiful sight. She was completely out of it mentally and had no front teeth at all-typical of meth users. She knew she would be discharged without Caty and didn't seem to care. SAD for my girl.

Caty still suffers today from her drug exposure in the womb. She has been diagnosed with Sensory Integration Disorder and has had speech therapy since birth & receives O.T. now. She will go through a full autistic spectrum evaluation next week. What is SID? AKA Sensory Processing Disorder. Caty is ultra sensitive to light, touch, sound, taste & smell. She hears, smells and feels things 3 times more intesely than we do & has a fear of new people and situations. She has NO PROBLEM telling you if you or your breath "stinks." LOL

Despite all Caty and the rest of our family have been through in her 3 short years, She is a MIRACLE! A true gift from God!

So.... Without further adue.........Please join us in celebrating our angel and thanking God for-Cathryn Izabel's 3rd birthday! We started out this morning with hot chocolate...Her special birthday treat!

Here she is holding up her 3 fingers showing EVERYONE she is now 3! She got to open 1 gift today..She has wanted a soft pink sweatsuit like the one I LIVE IN ! She LOVES the soft texture of mine and always "rubs me" whenever I wear it! We will finish her celebration with a surprise trip this weekend when daddy gets home!

As I ponder our journey, I am thankful. I am also passionate. Passionate about making sure that IF IT TAKES ME UNTIL THE DAY I DIE, no more children will suffer at the hands of drug using mothers. What is my goal? To put laws in place to rehabilitate drug using mothers both physically and spiritually and to make this abuse a crime. It is truly TOO LATE to help my babies but not to help the thousands, maybe millions out there suffering as I type this post.
God has given us all a job and command...

PS-for those of you who know Caty well, she changes clothes about 10+ times a day she has already stripped from her new her birthday suit into the one God gave her LOL


Ronnica said...

Aww, another Kansas girl!

What a neat story. I think adoption is such a sweet picture of what our Father has done for us.

bethroller said...

Happy Birthday Caty! I am excited to see you next week! Your mama made me cry (again) with this post. You ARE a fighter and I love you!

Kelly said...

Happy Birthday to your beautiful little girl! She is adorable. You are blessed to have each other.

Hope Caty has a wonderful celebration!

Jill said...

Happy Birthday Caty!

Thank you for stopping by my blog and following along!

I have been sharing recently about Jordan who had SID and still suffers a little bit form it. She is our bio daughter that is now 6. It was an incredible journey and I praise God for all that He has done in her life since coming to Him 3.5 yrs ago.

God bless you and I'm so glad you reached out so I can be praying for your family! Nice to meet you! By the way I don't like to be compared to John and Kate + 8 either. I'm sure it is not easy having 6 the same exact age - but the amount of chaos I have been told that goes in that home would make me crazy. I give God all the glory for the joy and peace that reigns in our home. Our ages will soon be 1, 2, 3, 4,5,6, 7 and 14. Can't do that without Him leading every step of the way! It takes a whole lot of grace, mercy and love - packed with forgivness along the way too for when our flesh takes a step in the wrong direction. Ahh its only grace and thats enough!

In His amazing grace,
Nope not crazy just loving God and abiding in His call upon our lives. Isn't it fun???

Tracie said...

Thank you for sharing this and for commenting on my blog. I look forward to digging in and getting to know you and your incredible heart more through back reading in your blog!

Happy Birthday to your dear Caty. Surely the Lord has laid His hand upon her and has trusted you with her beautiful life!

Tracie said...

Ok, I've read more, PLEASE EMAIL ME!

Manette said...

Wow... That was beautiful! With all of your hard work I'm sure you'll be able to reach your goal... You have amny more families who have adopted Meth babies supporting you (especially me)! Thank you for fighting so hard for our children!

And a VERY BIG Happy Birthday to Caty!!! What a great age... And she's getting to be such a big girl!


The Blogmaster said...

Awww. How sweet.


LRSadvocate said...

Im not trying to be a smarty pants here, but that child was taken right from the hospital, the mother wasnt even given a chance to get clean and get her back. That doesn't seem very fair.

Kelly said...

Wow! What an amazing story!! Caty is so beautiful and obviously is surrounded by love and grace! Your family is an insperation!!! You are from KS? We live in MO! We are thinking about adopting - well maybe I should say praying for God's guidence for our future children! :o) We have 3 daughters..two with us now and one in Heaven. Your family is truly an insperation to ours! keep up the good work - God is surely happy! God bless.


Somedays are Worth Remembering said...

Wow you are amazing. We just adopted a little baby ourselves. Not drug exposed, but we are thinking that we might go through the foster care system next time and I am sure that will be put before us. Can you give me some info. to prepare.
ps, I am a friend of Tracie Loux

Mashel said...

This sounds so much like my little Ty. He too was exposed to Meth in utereo, and has almost all of the same things as your sweet little girl. He too has had many problems with sucking, even to the point that he aspirated anything thiner then a honey consistancy. He has chronic lung problems and sensory intergration disorder. I would love to hear more about how you got the law passed. We are in Washington state, and see so many babies affected by this horrible drug.