Should we go to PRISON???

I know when I see this stamped on an envelope..

One of our kids birth moms is back in prison...

It's sad, truly sad..

This was the letter written and request made to The Captain and I....

I have had SO MANY EMOTIONS going through my head..
It is VERY difficult to know what is best for these two...

They have not seen her in over 4 years since Bit But's birth...

Will it be detrimental for them TO see her?
Will it be detrimental for them NOT to see her?

WWJD?

I know as an adopted child myself, I wanted more than anything to see what my birth mother looked like...

We have taken Bean, T, and WyWy to the same prison to visit their mother. It really is not that scary. Its like a big cafeteria with tables, vending machines and games.

One of my fears is that if we don't take them to see her now, while she is locked up, they may never see her alive again and then I may never forgive myself. I know the reality is she will probably get out and go right back to using meth and once again disappear into the abyss.

We know that OUR GOD will not steer us in the wrong direction and we must turn to him for the right answer, its a tough one...

4...ALREADY?

Scared out of my mind....That's what I was 4 years ago when I got the call about MyMy-our first foster baby. Born into some "very rough" even "deplorable" circumstances-AND exposed to methamphetamines and marijuana in the womb. Could I handle a "drug baby?" "What if she had to go home-back to her birth family?" God knew...

The Captain was out of town and I couldn't get ahold of him so I told the social worker "YES, we will take her." I WAS A NERVOUS WRECK!

I had just a few hours to gather ALL things needed for a newborn. Several friends rose to the occasion and helped us out instantly.

We had spaghetti that night..We (The oldest, bean, T and I) were eating when the car drove up. It was the social workers first delivery of a foster child since starting her first job out of college.

This is how she came to us..In the below photo are ALL the worldly possessions she had. A pink blanket and hat, a diaper and a t-shirt.
I asked the social worker "Are you going to stay with me?" She said "No, I have to go home and get supper for my husband." ARE YOU SERIOUS? You just drop her off and expect me to know what to do with a newborn? I haven't had one in 15 years.

She was loved instantly by all of us...ESPECIALLY the oldest..
Daddy got home later that night and I don't think he put her down for days!! The joy this girl has brought into our lives has been phenomenal!Her adoption was finalized just short of her first birthday!She has become a little violinist-something she most likely would not have done if God would not have saved her life that day 4 years ago.Happy 4th Birthday our princess-little MY MY who has become a beautiful young girl right before our eyes.
Most people say "Oh, you have saved those kids." NO...Thank you MY MY for helping "SAVE US!" And for the MANY blessings your life has brought us.

"The Lord will keep you from all harm-he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and your going now and forevermore." Psalms 121:7-8

Don't forget to enter my GIVEAWAY by 11pm Friday!

IN THE HOUSE!-Me and The Captain.

We got a call from our state representative last week. Last year in February The Captain and I helped initiate, present & testify for House bill 2602 in front of The Kansas House of Representatives.

This bill makes using controlled substances during pregnancy a crime. 15 other states have passed similar bills into law. To find out if your state has this law click here. We will most likely be testifying again sometime in February.

Many bills take SEVERAL times to get from the house to the senate. The main reason this bill did not pass is because the way the bill was written-it gave women a FELONY and put them in jail immediately until the birth of the baby. The reason it was written this way is because it was just copied from another state. The bill is now being revised to make it mandatory REHAB instead of the jail time. Which I think will help it to be passed. Either way, with cut backs and the economy, this will cost our state money-another reason it may not pass. BUT so will raising special needs kids affected by drug abuse in the womb.

PLEASE join us in praying that this bill will pass the house and be moved on to the senate this session and that we are IN THE HOUSE-God gives us the words to speak.

GOD HAS GIVEN ME A CALLING AND I WILL NOT REST UNTIL I KNOW THE UNBORN ARE PROTECTED FROM THE ABUSE THESE 6 SUFFERED IN THE WOMB!

PLEASE TAKE A FEW MINUTES TO WATCH OUR FAMILY VIDEO-so you can put REAL faces with our children who were abused in the womb!

Goodbye BABY!

BELOW is a picture of "the TRIBE" I had at home in September 2006 when I got THE CALL

16 year old

7 year old

5 year old

2 almost 1 year old

1 almost 2 years old

We were also in the middle of transforming our 1000 square foot home from THISTO THIS-doing ALL the interior work ourselves.
SO I WAS IN NO WAY PREPARED FOR THIS
(yes this is really his birth mama)
But God had other plans and on January 19, 2007 our baby boy joined our already swollen family.

A FULL SIBLING TO MY MY
His gestation and even the day of his birth were filled with methamphetamines, cigarettes, alcohol and marijuana. BUT GOD AGAIN PREVAILED! Protecting our BOY in the womb!
MY MY is so proud of her baby brother-they TRULY have a special bond.
I didn't think I could handle another child with The Captains schedule and all that we had going on-but GOD KNEW!
He is LOVED!BIG SISTER...A BOND THAT CANNOT BE BROKENGOODBYE BABY!HELLO LITTLE BOY!HAPPY 2nd Birthday SON!WE TIP OUR HATS TO YOU TODAY!
You are a true and precious GIFT to our family!

TO READ more click HERE!

FIGHTER From The GET GO!!

This day 3 years ago brings back a mixture of emotions, as I try to think back to how it all "went down" my stomach starts to churn and ache. I remember feelings of excitement, anger, love & tears shed both in happiness and sadness.

We had 4 children at the time and we were expecting Wyatt in just a few weeks. Nick, Tori, Brendan, Myah & I were in Topeka visiting B, T, & W birth mother in prison and shopping for some fall clothes.

I remember EXACTLY where we were when we got "THE CALL". It was a social worker asking if we would be willing to take a baby girl just born and with a high content of METH in her system. We were surprised to say the least, I will NEVER FORGET getting nervous, turning to Nick and asking him-HE DID NOT HESITATE! He said "well, I guess we need to stop by the house and pick up another car seat." So, we did & headed for the hospital.

We were told that this was a very confidential situation and that we should enter through a back door of the hospital and meet in a certain room. There she was as adorable & perfect as ever-I fumed inside thinking of the abuse she had suffered. An angel TRULY protected by God in the womb. I was sickened when they described the rough delivery our Caty had to suffer through. We signed all the necessary paperwork, snuggled her in her seat and headed out to introduce this doll to the other kids. 5 kids in less than a year?? LORD CAN I DO THIS?? Just as I was thinking these words and I could feel the tears welling.... a sweet social worker-Pat, who has seen us through a lot and was helping us load her up pointed to the sky and said "with HIM all things are possible." I remember tears just streaming. She gave me JUST what I needed! Why am I second guessing the Lord's plan for our family?

It was love at first sight for all of us! She was a doll baby! Myah was 8 months at the time and both she and Tori thought Caty was "their baby".

She did fine for a few hours but then things quickly began to change with her and I got VERY NERVOUS. I was told of all the signs of Caty "coming down" off the METH and she was starting to demonstrate these. She was not sucking, very lethargic and it was very difficult to arouse her. This condition is known as "failure to thrive."

As I was on my way to the ER with her-the anger came back..."HOW COULD ANY MOTHER ABUSE A CHILD AS PERFECT AND BEAUTIFUL AS HER??? How could she put POISON into this baby? How could she have 7 kids at age 26 and NOT TAKE CARE OF ANY OF THEM? Doesn't she have the SENSE not to keep getting pregnant?" And then I praised God that she had all her fingers, toes and was a beautiful girl, I prayed that the effects from the meth would not damage this baby forever. I then began to feel compassion for her mom, if she was like the other 2 birth mothers, she probably was abused, never felt loved, never had any guidance and definitely never knew God's unconditional love.

It was a rough couple days in the hospital for my girl and I, it was very difficult to watch as a mother what she had to go through during this time. She's had several admissions to the hospital since then as she suffers from chronic lung issues. She's a little fighter!

I met with her mother & social workers the next day at the hospital it was a pitiful sight. She was completely out of it mentally and had no front teeth at all-typical of meth users. She knew she would be discharged without Caty and didn't seem to care. SAD for my girl.

Caty still suffers today from her drug exposure in the womb. She has been diagnosed with Sensory Integration Disorder and has had speech therapy since birth & receives O.T. now. She will go through a full autistic spectrum evaluation next week. What is SID? AKA Sensory Processing Disorder. Caty is ultra sensitive to light, touch, sound, taste & smell. She hears, smells and feels things 3 times more intesely than we do & has a fear of new people and situations. She has NO PROBLEM telling you if you or your breath "stinks." LOL

Despite all Caty and the rest of our family have been through in her 3 short years, She is a MIRACLE! A true gift from God!

So.... Without further adue.........Please join us in celebrating our angel and thanking God for-Cathryn Izabel's 3rd birthday! We started out this morning with hot chocolate...Her special birthday treat!

Here she is holding up her 3 fingers showing EVERYONE she is now 3! She got to open 1 gift today..She has wanted a soft pink sweatsuit like the one I LIVE IN ! She LOVES the soft texture of mine and always "rubs me" whenever I wear it! We will finish her celebration with a surprise trip this weekend when daddy gets home!

As I ponder our journey, I am thankful. I am also passionate. Passionate about making sure that IF IT TAKES ME UNTIL THE DAY I DIE, no more children will suffer at the hands of drug using mothers. What is my goal? To put laws in place to rehabilitate drug using mothers both physically and spiritually and to make this abuse a crime. It is truly TOO LATE to help my babies but not to help the thousands, maybe millions out there suffering as I type this post.

God has given us all a job and command...

"LEARN TO DO RIGHT! SEEK JUSTICE, ENCOURAGE THE OPPRESSED-DEFEND THE CAUSE OF THE ORPHAN!" Isaiah 1:17

PS-for those of you who know Caty well, she changes clothes about 10+ times a day she has already stripped from her new her birthday suit into the one God gave her LOL

UTAH..Beautiful site for Drug Endangered Children's Conference!

My time in Utah was fun and slightly stressful! I got in last Monday night and went out to dinner with a bunch of people from DEC Conference. The types of people that attend this conference are law enforcement, social workers, doctors, lawyers, and psychologists. It was very interesting to sit in on the breakout sessions.

After dinner Monday night, the group went to a dueling piano bar, it was very cool and different entertainment. Since we were in SLC it was appropriately named The TAVERNACLE!

On the walk back to our hotel, I took a picture of the SLC TEMPLE (thanks Holly) Not the TABERNACLE :)

Everyone in SLC was super kind! I was just overwhelmed at the beauty of Utah, it was definitely proof to me that God exists!

Tuesday morning we were treated to a wonderful authentic Indian performance by Little Feathers dancers. I took video and pictures and my kids loved seeing them. Methamphetamines in particular are a HUGE cause of destruction of a lot of Indian families in Utah and all over the country.

Tuesday evening I went out to dinner with several people from the conference including one of the founders of DEC Sue Weber-Brown. We had a nice dinner at the base of one of the mountains. I got to talk to them a lot about the bill I would like to see passed in EVERY state to protect the unborn in the womb from drug exposure.

I went to bed early Tuesday evening about 9pm but was up from 12am to 3am making revisions to my presentation. I was up early and downstairs with "my person" Cristi Cain as she helped me prepare my presentation. She helps me put things in correct order, handles all my video prep and is very "techno knowledgeable" PLUS, she's my friend and great supporter! If it weren't for Cristi, our story and the need to get these unborn kids protected would not be out there. She has connections in the drug world!!!! LOL

My talk went spectacular! It was my 3rd presentation this fall and definitely the best! I teared up ONE time but didn't cry. I really tried to reach out and get this group to help these unborn babies not suffer the abuse my kids did! I hope they heard me. Thanks to Liz and Marjean, I was able to change my presentation to an earlier time and book an earlier flight home with my friends Cristi and Loretta. ME & CRISTI CAIN!

I was able to be home Wednesday night before all the kids went to bed! Cristi thinks I will get a lot of requests to speak after this conference. We will see :)

I am very thankful for a supportive husband and family! I hope to one day get my kids involved in this effort also. I pray the Keller family will make an impact on drugs and drug endangered children!

Now I'm just back at the farm, sitting in my nightie, drinking coffee back to being a normal ol' mom........just the way I like it!

BTW if any of you have ideas on how we can "get our story out there" to get more exposure so we can get this law passed in the spring PLEASE let me know! Thanks

OUR UTUBE VIDEO-Meth-the littlest victims-Keller Family Story.