Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Why Embryo Adoption???

We really wanted to experience the intimacy of pregnancy and child birth together as a couple. When we go married 8 years ago, we did not have good insurance or the finances to explore IVF or the like so we moved straight to traditional adoption.

In March of last year after deciding that we were not both being called to adopt internationally, we decided to give TTC (trying to conceive) one last shot.

In April and May we both went through many tests with our RE (reproductive endocrinologist) and it was discovered that we could do IVF BUT we had some problems that would lead us to either egg donation, sperm donation or BOTH. Embryo adoption/donation IS NOT IVF. It is simply a frozen embryo transfer.

After much discussion and prayer, we decided that we did not want to create embryos that were not "ALL US" meaning either 1/2 The Captain + 1/2 donor or 1/2 Me + 1/2 donor AND we did not want to be in the same predicament and create embryos only to have to decide where our "extra" embryos would go as we only desired ONE pregnancy.

Because of all these factors, we were led straight to embryo adoption. Focus on the Family and many other Christian organizations support and encourage embryo adoption. It obviously didn't matter to The Captain or I whether it was our biological child or not-we were actually thrilled that this child would be adopted just like our 6 littles! Many couples agonize over what to do with their remaining embryos after IVF. There are 3 choices. Donate them to another couple, destroy them or donate them for research.

We started doing research and found that embryo adoption can cost anywhere from $3,000 up to $20,000. There are basically 4 ways I know of to do embryo adoption. I will list them from most expensive to least expensive.
  1. You can adopt your embryos through an agency like Snowflakes which is the most expensive way but they are experienced and pioneered embryo adoption. You can choose either open or closed adoptions. Home study required $12,000-$16,000.
  2. You can go through an infertility clinics anonymous embryo donation program. No home study required. $5,000+
  3. You can go through NEDC (National Embryo Donation Center). You must travel to their clinic in Tennessee twice once before your transfer and once for the transfer and get your home study through Bethany Christian Services. Total Cost $4600-$7,000 with an extra $3,000 if you want an open adoption.
  4. Miracles Waiting. Which is what we did. For $100-you post a profile and perspective donors read through and email you if they are interested. Some donors are also listed and you can contact them. Although we got chosen in just 9 days-many people wait over a year or more. Our cost $3800
After we were chosen, we had our attorney here in KS draw up a contract and both couples agreed to it & it was finalized. Then our 6 adopted embryos were flown to my clinic in L.A. and waited for my arrival! I could not find a clinic in Kansas willing to do the embryo adoption so I went to an expert in the field!
Please email me or leave a comment with any questions! I have had LOTS of interest already and will try to go through the process step by step!
My next post will be ALL THE PREPARATION I had to do for the transfer!


Midwest Mommy said...

I have to tell you I think this is just AWESOME!

quilt-n-mama said...

I am so excited for you guys and love that you are willing to share so much! What a beautiful adoption option for those who can:) I'm loving checking in to see how you are! So sorry for all the sickness- ugh, been there and done that a lot:( I'll be praying that you feel better soon!
Blessings friend,

Jen said...

This is amazing. Thank you for telling this story. I am VERY interested in it.

Mom to 9 Blessings! said...


I just saw your comment on my blog changed to Blessedmomof8!!!!!


I'm so excited for you and your husband (and children).

I have been praying over you and this for months!


This is wonderful news!!!!!

Happy Thanksgiving to you and your precious family!

Hugs and much love!

Amy :) said...

congrats! this is what we were in the process of doing before we started doing foster care. now that we've adopted our three, we're revisiting the idea. it's a wonderful program, isn't it?!

Kristin said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
SocialWrkr24/7 said...

This is just about the coolest idea I have ever heard of!! I can't wait to hear more...

HatCreekGal said...

So great that you are expecting a new addition to your family - congrats! We got our children through embryo adoption too. We used Snowflakes and can't say enough good things about them.

I'm sad to see all of the negativity about Snowflakes. We used Snowflakes after doing a comprehensive comparison of programs. Miracles Waiting is like 'do it yourself', and that's a great option for some folks, but not for others - like us.

We had an excellent experience with Snowflakes and would highly recommend them to anyone - either for donating for adopting.

One program doesn't 'fit all'. Let's choose not to denigrate any program. There really aren't that many to choose from.

justme27 said...

This is a very interesting option. I'll have to mention it to my husband. We were diagnosed with unexplained infertility and are working through the foster to adopt world... but this might be an option for us someday.

Laura and Paul said...

My husband & I are looking into embryo adoption. I have a friend who has given us the remaining two frozen embryos she & her husband have. An online friend of mine shared you site with me. I would love to "chat" more with your experience.

Hope said...

This is such an amazing process. Can't wait to hear more about it!

loriz1213 said...

This is exactly more of what I was wanting to know Jen, so thanks for sharing. I look forward to reading more as you share your story. I am wondering about the actual procedure and what that entails. So wait, you had to go to L.A. as in Los Angeles?! Wow!
Have a Happy Thanksgiving!!

Shanna said...

Honey! how exciting!! I can't wait to follow along on your joyious journey.

Kerrie McLoughlin said...

saw your tweet about morning sickness ... have you tried B12 tablets? they saved my life with #5 ... i think it's a well-kept secret of docs!!!!! congrats, and i love your blog!

The Write Life said...

Hi Jen!

I'm curious about what you'll do with the other three embryos? Will you try one more time in the future? I assumed so, but you mentioned only wanting one pregnancy.

I think this is awesome that you did this and that this is possible! I look forward to watching your journey.

Paige Dooly

Kyle and Crystal said...

I am completely fascinated and thrilled with your news! I have heard very little about this type of adoption so I am sooo excited to follow along with your journey! How exciting!!!

Pink Slippers said...

You live in LA, CA? I live in southern Ca.

Sara said...

Thanks for the prayers regarding our situation. I really appreciate it. I have followed your blog for a while and just never commented. I am so happy for you with this next little miracle on the way. Your family is so neat. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Threefold Blessings :) said...

So exciting! Congratulations on your new little one!! Hope your feeling much better soon :)

radmoo1 said...

I cant wait to hear about the whole process. I think this is about the coolest idea ive heard in a long time. I am sooooo interested !!

John Deere Mom said...

I am so glad you are explaining this and sharing this story with us. I find it so fascinating. I had no idea there was embryo adoption...and then when I found out there was, I didn't understand how or why. Thanks so much for teaching me! I love reading your story!!

Kristen said...

Yea Jen! I am so excited to hear that things have progressed. What an excited thing to experience pregnancy with your husband--Sea Bands and all!
I look forward to hearing more....Congratulations!

Cheryl said...

Sure wish I'd known about this option 5 years ago! But, like you said, I feel God had/has a plan for us and obviously it didn't include me getting to experience a pregnancy. I have to admit, I'm a little jealous...but I KNOW I couldn't do it at my age! LOL
CONGRATULATIONS! And I'll be praying for you and the baby and the rest of the family.

heathermohr said...

Reading this is helping me so much! I'm so glad you commented on my blog because this is the first blog I've been able to find with all the details of embryo adoption!